Romans 7:19,24

"For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice...O wretched man that I am! Romans 7:19,24

One of the things I love about the Bible is it's honesty. Paul was an apostle. Among the gentiles, possibly, the chief apostle. Yet, here he is being very honest with us about his own struggles. I don't know about you but this sounds very familiar to me. I am stuck with this problem. I can perceive perfection, but, this side of heaven, I cannot achieve perfection. So, knowing my weakness, I feel worthless when I fail.

I remember hearing a song before which expresses this doubt well. The chorus goes: "What if I stumble? What if I fall/ Where will the love be when my walk becomes a crawl?" This fear paralyzes many Christians. I am afraid that if (or should that be when) I stumble, then God will desert me. If he stays with me, then, my fellow Christians will desert me.

Certainly, God will not leave me. When I have fallen is exactly the time he wants to help. His hand is reaching down for me to grab hold of to be lifted up even higher than before I fell. More likely than God deserting me during my time of failure is my deserting God. Very often, when I have failed, I feel so guilty that I turn away from the very one who died for my failures. As a child, when I ran too fast for my little legs and I fell down, I ran to my Mom or Dad for sympathy and a band-aid. Should I be any less trusting of my Heavenly father than I was of my earthly parents?

Unfortunately, sometimes it is true that the people I go to church with may turn away when I fail. This is not so much a judgment of me as it is of themselves. When we see another person fail, it reminds us of our own failures, so if we distance ourselves from those who have failed, we don't have to deal with our own shortcomings. However, many times this too is an unfounded fear. These are my brothers and sisters. For the most part they care for me want to see me back on my feet again. If they look down on me for the moment it is only because they are reaching down a hand to help me back up.

Yes, living the Christian life can be a risky business. I might stumble, I could fall. But all that proves is that I really need God. And those failures then become the pathway to my total dependence on him. Only when I realize t hat my legs are not up to this race, does he come on the scene and give me new legs and a new strength. Amen and Amen.