Gen 37:3-4

"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him." Gen 37:3-4

Joseph wasn't the problem so much as Israel's reaction to him. Israel lavished upon his youngest (at that time) son. He "loved him more that all his sons." I suppose there was some just cause. He was the last born son of Israel's favorite wife (that's another story). He gave Joseph all the advantages. While he dressed the other sons well, he made Joseph special clothes. It's like buying most of your children clothes from the Salvation Army Family Stores, (a charitable shop run by the Salvation Army here in Hong Kong) while buying your favorite child only designer garments from the fanciest store in town.

It will always cause problems. Joseph's brothers were jealous - and rightfully so. (You could say they had "older brother syndrome" - "you never killed a fatted calf for me!") They already had a severe disliking for their youngest sibling. Joseph didn't help matters much by relaying his dreams of his prominence to his brothers. Really now, why should they bow down to him? Here's the problem.

If you openly exalt one child over another, you will invariably damage all of them. It's a fact. Look at the trouble that arose from Israel's favoritism. Hatred, distrust, contemplated murder, slavery, imprisonment, suffering, loss, lying. All of these things resulted from this misplaced "love." Sure, good came of it.

Joseph survived the suffering. Israel survived the loss of his favorite son. Murder was avoided because reason prevailed. The family was ultimately saved because of Joseph. That doesn't mean all the decisions were right - all that happened was the way God wanted it. But it worked out.

Parents, I encourage you to learn from Israel's error. Do your best to treat all your children equally - give them all the love they need. Don't squander your love on one at the expense of the others. Israel would probably be the first to tell you that the suffering, the pain, of this mistake is severe. It is better to love all and have all than to love one over the other and lose all.

This advice can apply to many other situations as well. Teachers, take note. Preachers, take note. Employers, take note. All of us need to take note and avoid this pitfall. It leads to trouble. Amen and Amen.